femmenace-t:

pervocracy:

postwhitesociety:

hm

I think the “women are mysterious” thing can also come from:
1) Women actually being quite clear, but not telling men what they want to hear.  ”She said she doesn’t want to talk to me?  So many mixed messages and confusing signals!”
2) Women not having cheat codes.  ”I tried being nice, and she didn’t have sex with me.  I tried being an asshole, and she didn’t have sex with me.  Come on, there’s got to be some kind of solution to this puzzle!”
3) Women not being a hive mind.  ”First a woman told me that she likes guys with big muscles.  Then the very next day a woman told me she thinks muscles aren’t attractive at all.  Make up your mind, women!”
4) An individual woman doing something confusing, and instead of asking “why is she doing this now?” men ask “why do women always do this?”

Always reblog

femmenace-t:

pervocracy:

postwhitesociety:

hm

I think the “women are mysterious” thing can also come from:

1) Women actually being quite clear, but not telling men what they want to hear.  ”She said she doesn’t want to talk to me?  So many mixed messages and confusing signals!”

2) Women not having cheat codes.  ”I tried being nice, and she didn’t have sex with me.  I tried being an asshole, and she didn’t have sex with me.  Come on, there’s got to be some kind of solution to this puzzle!”

3) Women not being a hive mind.  ”First a woman told me that she likes guys with big muscles.  Then the very next day a woman told me she thinks muscles aren’t attractive at all.  Make up your mind, women!”

4) An individual woman doing something confusing, and instead of asking “why is she doing this now?” men ask “why do women always do this?”

Always reblog

(Source: ethiopienne, via lipsredasroses)

stfueverything:

ramsexalicious:

mrscriss2012:

This is my son, Chester, who is nearly 4. He was invited to his friend Chloe’s birthday party today, the theme was prince and princesses. He asked if he could go as Sleeping Beauty, so I bought him a dress and put a cute little clip in his hair.
We arrived at the party to the following comments from the adults present: “Oh that is just cruel.”
"Why did you make him wear a dress?"
"Poor little man, what’s your mummy playing at?"
"He’s going to hate you when he grows up."
"No way I’d let my son dress like a girl."
The fact is, Chester is almost completely gender neutral. I let him wear what he wants, be it boys or girls clothes, and he plays with whatever toys he likes. This usually involves him holding tea parties while wearing his pink Minnie Mouse top, jeans and a tiara. The guests are more often than not a mixture of Winnie The Pooh characters, dinosaurs, Barbie, Dora and solders, and they’re usually transported in his favorite fire engine.
When my husband arrived at the party later on, he was subjected to endless ridicule from the other dad’s present about how I must keep his balls in my back pocket because otherwise he would have put his foot down and not allowed Chester out like that. Oh, and by the way, our other son dressed as Ariel. When my husband pointed out that the boys were happy, and the mother of the birthday child made a point of saying how wonderful she thought it was that we allowed them freedom of choice and expression, they then stopped talking about it to our faces and started muttering about us behind our backs.
Interestingly enough, not a single child said a word about their choice of costumes, other than to compliment Chester on his new dress.

not a single child made a negative comment
not a single child made a negative comment
not a single child made a negative comment

this is important

stfueverything:

ramsexalicious:

mrscriss2012:

This is my son, Chester, who is nearly 4. He was invited to his friend Chloe’s birthday party today, the theme was prince and princesses. He asked if he could go as Sleeping Beauty, so I bought him a dress and put a cute little clip in his hair.

We arrived at the party to the following comments from the adults present:
“Oh that is just cruel.”

"Why did you make him wear a dress?"

"Poor little man, what’s your mummy playing at?"

"He’s going to hate you when he grows up."

"No way I’d let my son dress like a girl."

The fact is, Chester is almost completely gender neutral. I let him wear what he wants, be it boys or girls clothes, and he plays with whatever toys he likes. This usually involves him holding tea parties while wearing his pink Minnie Mouse top, jeans and a tiara. The guests are more often than not a mixture of Winnie The Pooh characters, dinosaurs, Barbie, Dora and solders, and they’re usually transported in his favorite fire engine.

When my husband arrived at the party later on, he was subjected to endless ridicule from the other dad’s present about how I must keep his balls in my back pocket because otherwise he would have put his foot down and not allowed Chester out like that. Oh, and by the way, our other son dressed as Ariel. When my husband pointed out that the boys were happy, and the mother of the birthday child made a point of saying how wonderful she thought it was that we allowed them freedom of choice and expression, they then stopped talking about it to our faces and started muttering about us behind our backs.

Interestingly enough, not a single child said a word about their choice of costumes, other than to compliment Chester on his new dress.

not a single child made a negative comment

not a single child made a negative comment

not a single child made a negative comment

this is important

(via lipsredasroses)

karenkavett:

"BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MEN?!" - Is Feminism Sexist? by marinashutup

This video should be required watching. Just, for everyone.

(via imjustawashedupdreamer)

giddytf2:

the-last-teabender:

Robin Thicke is unapologetic about how rapey ‘Blurred Lines’ is, meanwhile the dude who parodied it issues a public apology for one word.

And that is just one reason why I love Weird Al.

giddytf2:

the-last-teabender:

Robin Thicke is unapologetic about how rapey ‘Blurred Lines’ is, meanwhile the dude who parodied it issues a public apology for one word.

And that is just one reason why I love Weird Al.

(via raptortooth)

Tags: gifs feminism

"

1. Trauma permanently changes us.

This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as “getting over it.” The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger: a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no “back to the old me.” You are different now, full stop.

This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life — warts, wisdom, and all — with courage.

2. Presence is always better than distance.

There is a curious illusion that in times of crisis people “need space.” I don’t know where this assumption originated, but in my experience it is almost always false. Trauma is a disfiguring, lonely time even when surrounded in love; to suffer through trauma alone is unbearable. Do not assume others are reaching out, showing up, or covering all the bases.

It is a much lighter burden to say, “Thanks for your love, but please go away,” than to say, “I was hurting and no one cared for me.” If someone says they need space, respect that. Otherwise, err on the side of presence.

3. Healing is seasonal, not linear.

It is true that healing happens with time. But in the recovery wilderness, emotional healing looks less like a line and more like a wobbly figure-8. It’s perfectly common to get stuck in one stage for months, only to jump to another end entirely … only to find yourself back in the same old mud again next year.

Recovery lasts a long, long time. Expect seasons.

4. Surviving trauma takes “firefighters” and “builders.” Very few people are both.

This is a tough one. In times of crisis, we want our family, partner, or dearest friends to be everything for us. But surviving trauma requires at least two types of people: the crisis team — those friends who can drop everything and jump into the fray by your side, and the reconstruction crew — those whose calm, steady care will help nudge you out the door into regaining your footing in the world. In my experience, it is extremely rare for any individual to be both a firefighter and a builder. This is one reason why trauma is a lonely experience. Even if you share suffering with others, no one else will be able to fully walk the road with you the whole way.

A hard lesson of trauma is learning to forgive and love your partner, best friend, or family even when they fail at one of these roles. Conversely, one of the deepest joys is finding both kinds of companions beside you on the journey.

5. Grieving is social, and so is healing.

For as private a pain as trauma is, for all the healing that time and self-work will bring, we are wired for contact. Just as relationships can hurt us most deeply, it is only through relationship that we can be most fully healed.

It’s not easy to know what this looks like — can I trust casual acquaintances with my hurt? If my family is the source of trauma, can they also be the source of healing? How long until this friend walks away? Does communal prayer help or trivialize?

Seeking out shelter in one another requires tremendous courage, but it is a matter of life or paralysis. One way to start is to practice giving shelter to others.

6. Do not offer platitudes or comparisons. Do not, do not, do not.

“I’m so sorry you lost your son, we lost our dog last year … ” “At least it’s not as bad as … ” “You’ll be stronger when this is over.” “God works in all things for good!”

When a loved one is suffering, we want to comfort them. We offer assurances like the ones above when we don’t know what else to say. But from the inside, these often sting as clueless, careless, or just plain false.

Trauma is terrible. What we need in the aftermath is a friend who can swallow her own discomfort and fear, sit beside us, and just let it be terrible for a while.

7. Allow those suffering to tell their own stories.

Of course, someone who has suffered trauma may say, “This made me stronger,” or “I’m lucky it’s only (x) and not (z).” That is their prerogative. There is an enormous gulf between having someone else thrust his unsolicited or misapplied silver linings onto you, and discovering hope for one’s self. The story may ultimately sound very much like “God works in all things for good,” but there will be a galaxy of disfigurement and longing and disorientation in that confession. Give the person struggling through trauma the dignity of discovering and owning for himself where, and if, hope endures.

8. Love shows up in unexpected ways.

This is a mystifying pattern after trauma, particularly for those in broad community: some near-strangers reach out, some close friends fumble to express care. It’s natural for us to weight expressions of love differently: a Hallmark card, while unsatisfying if received from a dear friend, can be deeply touching coming from an old acquaintance.

Ultimately every gesture of love, regardless of the sender, becomes a step along the way to healing. If there are beatitudes for trauma, I’d say the first is, “Blessed are those who give love to anyone in times of hurt, regardless of how recently they’ve talked or awkwardly reconnected or visited cross-country or ignored each other on the metro.” It may not look like what you’d request or expect, but there will be days when surprise love will be the sweetest.

9. Whatever doesn’t kill you …

In 2011, after a publically humiliating year, comedian Conan O’Brien gave students at Dartmouth College the following warning:

"Nietzsche famously said, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ … What he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.”
Odd things show up after a serious loss and creep into every corner of life: insatiable anxiety in places that used to bring you joy, detachment or frustration towards your closest companions, a deep distrust of love or presence or vulnerability.

There will be days when you feel like a quivering, cowardly shell of yourself, when despair yawns as a terrible chasm, when fear paralyzes any chance for pleasure. This is just a fight that has to be won, over and over and over again.

10. … Doesn’t kill you.

Living through trauma may teach you resilience. It may help sustain you and others in times of crisis down the road. It may prompt humility. It may make for deeper seasons of joy. It may even make you stronger.

It also may not.

In the end, the hope of life after trauma is simply that you have life after trauma. The days, in their weird and varied richness, go on. So will you.

"

— Catherine Woodiwiss, “A New Normal: Ten Things I’ve Learned About Trauma” (via lepetitmortpourmoi)

(Source: soishothimintheface, via hobbitkaiju)

Tags: words trauma

cisharming:

cisharming:

Let me grind this in a little more for you guys.

"cis" (from cisgender) means you identify as the gender you were assigned.

Cis does not mean:

  • You are comfortable with your “body.”
  • "gender you were born with." You’re not born with a gender.
  • "straight." Being cis has nothing to do with your sexuality.

So, can cis people stop altering the definition and spreading misinformation?

This got a lot of notes, fast.

Good, good.

(via hobbitkaiju)

cocksucking-accent:

tashabilities:

thotlike:

tashabilities:

onlyblackgirl:

sidzthekillahhh:

There we go

Bout fuckin time someone called they ass out

The white gay dude on the left is the asshole who wrote the rebuttal to Sierra’s piece for Thought Catalog.
He—and all the other useless white gay racist assholes crying ‘cultural segregation’—should die in a fire while starving.

^^^ we definitely need to have convos on women stealing black gay culture. but not convos that center on the hurt feelings of whiny, white gay boys. 

Is it really Black women stealing Black gay culture when it was BLACK women who raised those BLACK gay boys, and BLACK women they emulate any damn way?
Sure, Black gay culture is a real and huge thing that creates culture on its own,
But a LOT of Black gay culture comes from Black femininity in general.
(My language is clunky, but I KNOW you know wtf I’m saying)
But the article being discussed on CNN anyway is about WHITE gay men and their need to be sassy Black women, reducing our identities to a joke and stealing Black woman culture to form their raggedy ass identities.

I’m assuming this is recent and would explain the absurd amount of butthurt “as a white gay man I had no idea I was a black woman, thanks!” posts I’ve been seeing all over my fucking work fb.
Son, the issue is that you’e NOT a damn Black woman and you should keep your white, male paws off other people’s fucking culture.

cocksucking-accent:

tashabilities:

thotlike:

tashabilities:

onlyblackgirl:

sidzthekillahhh:

There we go

Bout fuckin time someone called they ass out

The white gay dude on the left is the asshole who wrote the rebuttal to Sierra’s piece for Thought Catalog.

He—and all the other useless white gay racist assholes crying ‘cultural segregation’—should die in a fire while starving.

^^^ we definitely need to have convos on women stealing black gay culture. but not convos that center on the hurt feelings of whiny, white gay boys. 

Is it really Black women stealing Black gay culture when it was BLACK women who raised those BLACK gay boys, and BLACK women they emulate any damn way?

Sure, Black gay culture is a real and huge thing that creates culture on its own,

But a LOT of Black gay culture comes from Black femininity in general.

(My language is clunky, but I KNOW you know wtf I’m saying)

But the article being discussed on CNN anyway is about WHITE gay men and their need to be sassy Black women, reducing our identities to a joke and stealing Black woman culture to form their raggedy ass identities.

I’m assuming this is recent and would explain the absurd amount of butthurt “as a white gay man I had no idea I was a black woman, thanks!” posts I’ve been seeing all over my fucking work fb.

Son, the issue is that you’e NOT a damn Black woman and you should keep your white, male paws off other people’s fucking culture.

jeweledqueen:

radchaphruek:

the-wistful-collectivist:

eames-i-am-impressed:

andrysb24:

racethewind10:

latinagabi:

ultrasofts:

missespeon:

missespeon:

Here we go

i feel like i should clarify the guy on the right wrote the article AGAINST misogyny hes not an mra type

he went off in that article too. 

Must read

Seriously must read

READ IT NOW

I just read his article some minutes ago and now saw this picture, I just had a mini heart attack. THIS MAN IS GOLD. Read his article, seriously.

This article was fucking beautiful

Arthur Chu is really great and hilarious, and completely and utterly slept on. You should all check out his twitter.

This is good.

jeweledqueen:

radchaphruek:

the-wistful-collectivist:

eames-i-am-impressed:

andrysb24:

racethewind10:

latinagabi:

ultrasofts:

missespeon:

missespeon:

Here we go

i feel like i should clarify the guy on the right wrote the article AGAINST misogyny hes not an mra type

he went off in that article too.

Must read

Seriously must read

READ IT NOW

I just read his article some minutes ago and now saw this picture, I just had a mini heart attack. THIS MAN IS GOLD. Read his article, seriously.

This article was fucking beautiful

Arthur Chu is really great and hilarious, and completely and utterly slept on. You should all check out his twitter.

This is good.

maxboltagon:

"what about a lesbian princess" always seems to lead to two answers

  • what about a gay prince?
  • what about a female princess that doesn’t hinge on a love plot?

what about I didn’t ask for your shitty opinion I asked for a lesbian princess

(Source: holypama, via nanafrills)